“I’m a sick man … a mean man. There’s nothing attractive about me. I think there’s something wrong with my liver. But, actually, I don’t understand a damn thing about my sickness; I’m not even too sure what it is that’s ailing me….”

Constance Garnett:

“I am a sick man… I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me….”

Michael R. Katz:

“I am a sick man…. I am a spiteful man. I am a most unpleasant man. I think my liver is diseased. Then again, I don’t know a thing about my illness; I’m not even sure what hurts….”

C.J. Hogarth (Letters from the Underworld):

“I am ill. I am full of spleen and repellent. I conceive there to be something wrong with my liver, for I cannot even think for the aching of my head. Yet what my complaint is I do not know….”

Ralph E. Matlow:

“I am a sick man…. I am a spiteful man. I am an unpleasant man. I think my liver is diseased. However, I don’t know beans about my disease, and I am not sure what is bothering me….”

Coulson:

“I am a sick man… I am an angry man. I am an unattractive man. I think there is something wrong with my liver….”

Pevear and Volokhonsky:

“I am a sick man. I am a wicked man. An unattractive man. I think my liver hurts….”

Nice to meet you.